Thursday, July 30, 2009

Update Shmupdate

Summer has been excellent. However, I've never been more ready for school to start. This might be the only time in my life I can remember wishing that summer was over.

And that's not to say that this has been a bad few months. Instead, they have been the opposite. I've had a blast this summer. Met a lot of cool people here in the city. Had a great internship. Slept a lot. I mean, like a whole lot. No complaints, truly.

I've just never been so geared up to get back into the grind, even though I know this means going to classes five days a week and working six. Plus there's finding a job for next summer.

But I can feel that this is going to be the best year of my life. What's changed is not so much what I will have to do, but how I live my life.

I am in the middle of a life reconstruction. I tore down myself only to rebuild me. My life is much different than it used to be. And while I'm not nearly done with this yet, I can feel the fruits of my work paying off.

This energizes me to continue this process, which I'm sure I will be able to do regardless of what's going on in my life this fall.

The reason why has to do with the person I've become and how I live now. My quarter-life crisis forced me to re-examine my priorities and what came out of that is nothing more than a life-transformation.

At this point, I'm babbling, and surely no one really cares this much about me. But I just want everyone to know that if you invest the time and energy you need to find yourself you life will turn out better.

I'm not saying I've found out who I am. But I am a better person (and happier) than I was at this point last year.

I care so much less about what I do for a living. I don't have much concern for how much money I make. I am not pressuring myself to get a stellar internship next summer. I am not afraid of fucking up. I have more friends that I truly care about. I have more people in my life that are important to me.

While I'm not back all the way, I'm on my way.

Progress happens so slowly and so unnoticeably that it can be disheartening at times. But I've felt the results of all this soul-searching lately. And let me tell you, it feels good.

Most importantly, I'm happy. Maybe happier than I've ever been. Ever.

And I know that I'm still thinking, still questioning, still looking.

I guess you could say I've learned the secret to life. You know that age-old question we ponder since birth? Well, I know it now.

And that's why this year is going to be the best of my life.

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