Sunday, April 5, 2009

*Insert appropriate title here*

"You've got to know right now these words still sting. I've lost everything I've ever touched."
-Landmines and Landslides, by Less Than Jake

Time makes things easier, but that doesn't mean time makes things easy.

Story of my life.

There is no real point to this post, I just feel like I need to write something right now before I go to sleep.

"Said 'Goodbye' to my best friend. Sometimes there's no one left to tell me the truth."
-The Rest of my Life, by Less Than Jake

This has been a good weekend. One of the best I can remember in a long time, and that makes me happy. It was awesome, despite the fact that one of my best friends isn't talking to me. The reason it was so great had less to do with what I did than with who I did it with.

Good friends are hard to find. And when they come into your life you feel blessed and you should. Maybe that's what makes this so hard. I'm having that oh too familiar feeling of having someone close to me slip away. It's scary and reminds me of times I do my best to not think about.

I'm still not sure what I'm getting at, but I'm not ready to go to bed quite yet.

So I'll guess I will keep rambling for a few more lines or so.

Writing is such a release. I will do my best to make a post each night before I go to sleep. Not that anyone reads this typo-ridden garbage anyway. But I don't care. I write for me. It's my time to me. Sometimes it's the only part of my day that feels right no matter what.

"I don't need a girl, don't need a friend 'cuz my friend Lonesome's unconditional. We're flying, forever bored."
-Open Road Son, by Eve 6

Just a few more weeks left of school. I will miss Bloomington dearly. But I'm ready for a change of pace. New scenery. New experiences. New memories. A fresh beginning. A clean slate.

All of the above.

I'm ready to see what else life has in store for me beyond Bloomington and school. I'm ready for something new, good or bad. I just want something I've never experiences before. Something with no connection to my past. Something to expand my horizons and challenge my perception of who I am.

"I will not go down under the ground because somebody tells me that death's coming round. And I will not carry myself down to die. When I go to my grave my head will be high. Let me die, in my footsteps, before I go down under the ground."
-Let Me Die in My Footsteps, by Bob Dylan

I went to Lamb Lake today. Simply amazing. I loved the people and I loved the setting. Something about nature's inherent beauty that can just put you at peace. That's how I felt in the mountains of west Texas, and that's how I felt today drifting on the lake. That's a feeling I know I will never tire of. It's too amazing to ever be saturated with.

It's tough times that really makes you appreciate the simple things around you that have so much beauty. Like a soft sunset. Or an undisturbed lake. Or a quiet sky. Or a never-ending horizon.

I do my best to remind myself every day about life's simple and majestic nature that surrounds me every second.

Almost ready to go to sleep, but not there yet.

So insert more rambling here.

Wait. You're still reading? You, my friend, need to pick up a hobby or two rather than wasting your time on my 5 a.m. sleep-deprived blog posts. Sorry, but it's true.

God bless the people I have in my life. If you're reading this (and even if you're not), God bless you. I love you. You mean more to me than you will ever know. You are amazing. Thank you.

I know I should say this to your face more often, but I love you.

I do. It's true. Thanks for everything you've ever done for me. I only hope that I can be as good a friend to you than you have been to me.

Okay, so I guess it's about that time. My eyelids are getting droopy and I think that's my clue. My roommate must hate this thing that makes a soft pitter-patter every night around this time.

But like I said, I love you. Just thought that was worth reiterating.

"If you won't forgive me the rest of my life, let me apologize while I'm still alive. I know it's time to face all of my past mistakes. It's going to kill me for the rest of my life."
-The Rest of my Life, by Less Than Jake

Good night, my friends. May tomorrow be even half as good as today or yesterday was.


  1. ben!!!! i always read your posts! i love you too! haha :)

  2. lamb lake is love.

    here's to the summer.