Open up your Eagle Eyes

Life continually surprises me, even if it's not in the best of ways. Still, there's an odd satisfaction I get out of knowing that something could happen tomorrow that could change my life forever, good or bad.

It's freeing. To know that you can never really be in charge of your own life is to accept the things you can't control. It's about acceptance and enjoying the trip, wherever it takes you.

My life is only a fraction of what it used to be. And for all that's happened, I would never go back to the way it used to be. My life last semester feels like a movie. An out of body experience.

Sometimes I forget that I used to live with my significant other. That we had our own place. Thinking about it now feels like I'm replaying an old favorite film I haven't seen in a long time.

It seems like years ago, and in many ways it was. I've grown tenfold as a person and my outlook on life has change immensely, mostly for the better. I view the world through a different lens. I am starting to become the person I've always wanted to be. We must learn to be our own heroes.

My life is only a fraction of what it once was, but I'm okay with that. Learning to accept our pasts is one of the greatest gifts we can ever give ourselves.

So much about life is acceptance. I've been reading a few books on Zen lately and that's a fundamental belief in it. Zen teachers preach that we are not the past or the future, but simply the present. We must accept where we are right now and do our best to enjoy it and make it better. We can't spend our time analyzing the present and comparing it to the past. This only makes us waste the present, which evaporates continuously.

While I don't agree with all of the Zen philosophy, they're definitely on to something.

Many of my last few months I have spent wanting, praying and wishing things could have turned out differently. But the fact is they didn't. I'm lucky for the blessing Life wished upon me at such an early age. And to quote a great writer, indeed the excrement certainly hit the fan. But this I must simply accept.

My life is only a fraction of what it used to be, but change is the only constant in this world. It is truly the only thing that we can count on daily. Whether we accept this fact is up to us. And yes, my life is different in almost every regard from only five months ago.

Different friends. Different home. Different priorities. Different wants. Different needs. Different everything.

On the inside I'm different too. I see Life in a new way. I'm more appreciative of what I had and what I have right now. I more easily brush aside stress because I have a better idea of what's important.

I am starting to become the person I've always wanted to be, and that makes me happy.

And while my life is only a fraction of what it once was, I'm okay with that.

Learning to accept our pasts is one of the greatest gifts we can ever give ourselves.