Thursday, March 19, 2009

Bucking tradition

I ate meat last night for the first time in 5 years.

I don't know why I did it. I just did. I really can't explain what came over me and made me want to eat it.

All I know is that for about as long as I can remember and all of my adult life I haven't eaten meat. It's as much a part of who I am as anything else I know. One-quarter of my life I have been a vegetarian.

But when people ask me why I don't eat meat I hesitate. I hate explaining it. Lately I've realized that I don't eat meat because I never have. It's just something I've always done. It's as ingrained in me as anything else I know. It's like breathing.

So that's why I think I decided to have a hamburger for the first time in years.

I'm at a point in my life where I need to question everything I do or don't do. I need to decide who I am and what I believe. I need to push my comfort level to see who I really am.

So I think I am - occasionally - going to eat meat again. I don't know why but I feel like it's time for a change in my life. It's time for me to discover who I am and not be limited by who I've been in the past.

I feel like before I can be me I have to explore all my options. I have to push my boundaries and do things I've never done before.

Only then I can truly know who I am and where I fit into this world. Only after I've pushed myself into a new frontier and challenged my perception of who I am can I find myself.

I need to wipe the slate completely clean before I begin to redraw my self-portrait. It's only after I abandon everything I think I know about myself that I can determine what's real and what's simply tradition.

So for now I will eat dead animals. Yuck. It's disgusting to even think about.

But who knows, maybe one day I'll even go hunting.

But I wouldn't count on it.

3 comments:

  1. i would have loved to have been there when you ordered up a burger.

    it's a strange thing to say on an occasion such as this but..

    i'm proud of you.

    that's right..

    i'm proud that you ate a burger. congrats man.

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  2. Ummm so does this mean next time we're home you're going to eat a MEAT LOVER'S pizza at Arni's with me?! hahaha i'm excited!

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  3. I am surprised... but hey u r right about one thing... there comes a time in life to question everything.

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